I completely fell off the wagon. Got sucked into work and got away from the practices. I did start reading the Attractor Factor and still worked on basic intention/creating my day type of experiments. I have to say even when doing the small things, I was amazed by the power of the mind to create something.
So, I definitely want to re-commit to the challenge and set up a system of checks and balances for myself, where my weekends become mini-retreats, part rejuvenation and part - artist time. I haven't figured it out yet, but let me set the intention and ask for guidance.
I am sad to report I never did here from the start-up Mag, but it's completely ok. Meeting them was the impetus to get that work off my old computer hard drive, which I had been thinking of doing for at least six months. So, that's great! And maybe that's all the universe wanted.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Day 30
Last night, I tried an experiment. I got this idea from a website, I believe it was Steve Atchinson's Change Your Thoughts blog, but I'm not sure.
Anyway, I was having a little trouble with the visualizing, so I recorded myself reading my intentions and describing my intended life as if it was fully present and listened to it before I went to bed and before I got up this morning.
And I see two things, first, that the I could sense the resistance I had to some of the things I was putting out, and I still need to journal and look deeper into that resistance.
Also, if there are no coincidences, the universe is fast. I barely left the house this weekend, except to do laundry. After I put my clothes in the washer, I walked across the street to buy some candles for my meditation. While at the little boutique gift shop, there were a couple of sisters trying to sell adspace for their new magazine to the store owner.
When I went to the register to pay for my candles, without even thinking, I asked the sisters if they were starting a magazine. One of them tells me a little about, asks if I'm an artist. I tell her I'm a writer, so if they're in need... So, they let me look over the mag. I later exchange contact info with one of the sisters, who asks me to send her a sample, and tells me about their weekly meetings.
So, wow... again, not sure if anything will come from it, but I will do my part. Stay open and send her the requested sample.
Anyway, I was having a little trouble with the visualizing, so I recorded myself reading my intentions and describing my intended life as if it was fully present and listened to it before I went to bed and before I got up this morning.
And I see two things, first, that the I could sense the resistance I had to some of the things I was putting out, and I still need to journal and look deeper into that resistance.
Also, if there are no coincidences, the universe is fast. I barely left the house this weekend, except to do laundry. After I put my clothes in the washer, I walked across the street to buy some candles for my meditation. While at the little boutique gift shop, there were a couple of sisters trying to sell adspace for their new magazine to the store owner.
When I went to the register to pay for my candles, without even thinking, I asked the sisters if they were starting a magazine. One of them tells me a little about, asks if I'm an artist. I tell her I'm a writer, so if they're in need... So, they let me look over the mag. I later exchange contact info with one of the sisters, who asks me to send her a sample, and tells me about their weekly meetings.
So, wow... again, not sure if anything will come from it, but I will do my part. Stay open and send her the requested sample.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Day 24
Am I counting right?
Today was a good intuition... easy, no second-guessing.
I went to the dentist and the on the way back to the office, I took a detour--a semi-wrong turn and ended up walking down this street called Library Way. It was this block long street, with gold plaques inscribed with great quotes, every few paces. Since I tend to look down a lot, this was not something that would easily be lost on me. :) So, I'm walking and reading, reading and walking, slowing down and by the time I got to the end of the block, just flat out stopping to read. And once I got there, I looked up and lo and behold, in all its majesty, the beauty that is the New York Public Library. It felt good. All the quotes reminded me of why I fell in love with language and how it makes so much sense to write and stop running from it.
Left work late. It was nice, so I decided to take a walk. Went to Union Square, still wasn't ready to get on the train. Decided to walk to West 4th. Decided to take University Place instead of Broadway. I walk a block and I see the number 13. I wonder is that Bar 13, where I think Stacey Ann Chin is reading tonight. Indeed it is. I walk in two minutes before her set begins and it was great! I was inspired and moved!
I'm thankful for such a great day.
Today was a good intuition... easy, no second-guessing.
I went to the dentist and the on the way back to the office, I took a detour--a semi-wrong turn and ended up walking down this street called Library Way. It was this block long street, with gold plaques inscribed with great quotes, every few paces. Since I tend to look down a lot, this was not something that would easily be lost on me. :) So, I'm walking and reading, reading and walking, slowing down and by the time I got to the end of the block, just flat out stopping to read. And once I got there, I looked up and lo and behold, in all its majesty, the beauty that is the New York Public Library. It felt good. All the quotes reminded me of why I fell in love with language and how it makes so much sense to write and stop running from it.
Left work late. It was nice, so I decided to take a walk. Went to Union Square, still wasn't ready to get on the train. Decided to walk to West 4th. Decided to take University Place instead of Broadway. I walk a block and I see the number 13. I wonder is that Bar 13, where I think Stacey Ann Chin is reading tonight. Indeed it is. I walk in two minutes before her set begins and it was great! I was inspired and moved!
I'm thankful for such a great day.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Day 23
I did follow inspiration and bought a cheap art set. I spent Friday and Saturday nights painting watercolors in my Moleskine and ripping out encouraging text from newspapers. I journaled and revisited my intentions, which I'm still in the process of doing--ie. writing page long descriptions about the intention itself, what's in the way, and what does it look like, feel like, taste like, etc.
I started working on one of the applications for a new job opportunity, and I got a little stuck. So, I should either journal or meditate around letting go of fear around those opportunities. Meanwhile, on Friday, received another film festival rejection. And I still haven't processed those properly. Like I'm not sure whether to interpret these things as signs about the film itself or intention mirroring back my own fears and thoughts about the projects themselves.
Also, today, was reading Wayne Dyer, and am thinking about two things he said. One, really thinking through the like attracts like. That's not just about seeing and visualizing, but that's it also about being that. Like if you want someone or something that's X, Y, and Z, you must first be X, Y, and Z also. So, that's something to think about.
Also, he talked about shifting from ego-driven sources of energy in order to line yourself up with Source energy. I think that's key. I'm not exactly sure how to go about it, but I feel like that's the necessary step. The haziness around my career goals is directly connected to that, and the urgency I feel "to prove" something. It's all ego and it leads me nowhere. So, I know that's what I want to get away from and take inspired action into a positive direction.
Other thoughts: dance class, printmaking, and knitting. Other ways to spark creativity and fill the well.
I started working on one of the applications for a new job opportunity, and I got a little stuck. So, I should either journal or meditate around letting go of fear around those opportunities. Meanwhile, on Friday, received another film festival rejection. And I still haven't processed those properly. Like I'm not sure whether to interpret these things as signs about the film itself or intention mirroring back my own fears and thoughts about the projects themselves.
Also, today, was reading Wayne Dyer, and am thinking about two things he said. One, really thinking through the like attracts like. That's not just about seeing and visualizing, but that's it also about being that. Like if you want someone or something that's X, Y, and Z, you must first be X, Y, and Z also. So, that's something to think about.
Also, he talked about shifting from ego-driven sources of energy in order to line yourself up with Source energy. I think that's key. I'm not exactly sure how to go about it, but I feel like that's the necessary step. The haziness around my career goals is directly connected to that, and the urgency I feel "to prove" something. It's all ego and it leads me nowhere. So, I know that's what I want to get away from and take inspired action into a positive direction.
Other thoughts: dance class, printmaking, and knitting. Other ways to spark creativity and fill the well.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Day 20
Wow! Day 20.
The last two days I kinda slid emotionally. I was feeling a bit of anxiety around my writing and my attempts to create a routine for it. So, that's something I still have work to do on. The hang-ups, paralysis, and perfectionist tendencies that surround the work. The thinking that psyches out the doing. So, I'm trying to follow inspiration. And right now, I'm really inspired by cross process photography and moleskine visual journals on Flickr. There's some amazing work on that site and it's really inspiring to see what people are doing, some with pro equipment and others with little digital cameras or Holgas. That's definitely something I wanna do a lot with this summer-master the Holga. I like the idea of taking it everywhere. It's so light, it shouldn't be much of a hindrance.
So, my intention for tomorrow is to follow inspiration, to listen for next steps on the work, with special regard to writing and career goals. I feel like one of the great things to use this 100 days for is to manifest all types of experiments. Like consider it a life makeover, and I like using it as an opportunity to start over in all these other areas.
Other things on the agenda: There are a couple of opps I want to work on applications on this weekend. So, let's put those things in the intention bonnet also.
The last two days I kinda slid emotionally. I was feeling a bit of anxiety around my writing and my attempts to create a routine for it. So, that's something I still have work to do on. The hang-ups, paralysis, and perfectionist tendencies that surround the work. The thinking that psyches out the doing. So, I'm trying to follow inspiration. And right now, I'm really inspired by cross process photography and moleskine visual journals on Flickr. There's some amazing work on that site and it's really inspiring to see what people are doing, some with pro equipment and others with little digital cameras or Holgas. That's definitely something I wanna do a lot with this summer-master the Holga. I like the idea of taking it everywhere. It's so light, it shouldn't be much of a hindrance.
So, my intention for tomorrow is to follow inspiration, to listen for next steps on the work, with special regard to writing and career goals. I feel like one of the great things to use this 100 days for is to manifest all types of experiments. Like consider it a life makeover, and I like using it as an opportunity to start over in all these other areas.
Other things on the agenda: There are a couple of opps I want to work on applications on this weekend. So, let's put those things in the intention bonnet also.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Day 18
I'm so happy and grateful for all the insights I've received so far and look forward to more of them over the course of this journey.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Day 17
Fell off the wagon a bit. I must re-commit to posting every day, or at least making a best effort. I've been thinking a lot about habits and how I want to commit my days--like what hours are untouchable, what time am I willing to reserve to things I know I need, like mediation or writing daily. I haven't come up with an answer. Perhaps, 'cause I'm scared to commit.
I think these things early. At that moment, I can't wait to get home and put it into practice. By the time, I get home though, I'm tired, hungry, and just want to do something unfocused or non-essential--ie. surf the web or watch tv.
I know, I know. I'll keep working on it.
Start with gratitude. I'm also trying small manifestations as well.
I think these things early. At that moment, I can't wait to get home and put it into practice. By the time, I get home though, I'm tired, hungry, and just want to do something unfocused or non-essential--ie. surf the web or watch tv.
I know, I know. I'll keep working on it.
Start with gratitude. I'm also trying small manifestations as well.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Day 13
Found some interesting things on the web and started reading Shakti Gawain's Creative Visualization. Been scribbling visions of an ideal the last couple of days...
Earlier today, i wrote these notes on anxiousness:
Imagine that you're on track... you're not off the mark, there's no scrambling or "making up" you have to do... you're exactly where you're supposed to be, and you have everything you need to continue on this journey, and make it to your destination...
Inspired action... I just keep thinking about how to begin again w/ the work, w/out the graspy anxious feeling that often accompanies it... Like here it is, just process, no product... no short-cuts, no pandering to "get on", no attempts to enter into other people's houses, just simple building... brick by brick, sewing seeds and preparing the harvest...
Also, want to try more experiments with visualization and the law of attraction... I realize I've been a bit apprehensive about asking for small things, but I'm scared they won't come through... and that i'll have to deal with the big things and the fear that's attached there... so, that's something else to work on...
Earlier today, i wrote these notes on anxiousness:
Imagine that you're on track... you're not off the mark, there's no scrambling or "making up" you have to do... you're exactly where you're supposed to be, and you have everything you need to continue on this journey, and make it to your destination...
Inspired action... I just keep thinking about how to begin again w/ the work, w/out the graspy anxious feeling that often accompanies it... Like here it is, just process, no product... no short-cuts, no pandering to "get on", no attempts to enter into other people's houses, just simple building... brick by brick, sewing seeds and preparing the harvest...
Also, want to try more experiments with visualization and the law of attraction... I realize I've been a bit apprehensive about asking for small things, but I'm scared they won't come through... and that i'll have to deal with the big things and the fear that's attached there... so, that's something else to work on...
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